Saturday, February 27, 2010

Rematch





What a shame that if the USA wins then Canada will be crushed, and if Canada wins, the USA will say they didn't give a shit to begin with.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Slovakia?


Slovakia as it turns out has their shit together these Olympics with a roster that sports some real talent. Most importantly though they have what every sports prognosticate has been fearing: the hot goalie.


Still, no matter how good they may be playing right now, I am just thanking my lucky stars that somehow Iceland didn't make the qualification round because we for sure would have lost. The place is called "Ice"land! They've got to be good!


Apparently the age restrictions in Iceland don't apply to international hockey either, as it clearly looks like those are old men playing against kids in junior high. As I was discussing with Kier Thompson, maybe its just that they live their lives in dog years or something. I guess that would put the expected lifespan around 25 years old.

I know I should be talking about Slovakia but do yourself a favor, if there is one video you watch on the internet today, please make it this one.

Outstanding
Marian Hossa has made it a habit lately of getting far with teams and not winning the big one so let's see if that (hilarious) trend continues tonight. 7:30pm.

Oh something else happened yesterday in hockey. Don't really recall. Some sort of exhibition tournament came to an end. Got to love the premature celebration by Wickenheiser. I'm not trying to knock women's hockey, but I am knocking its legitimacy as an Olympic sport. Is there really a need to have the Canadian and American women beat the fuck out of everyone on their way to a gold medal match every four years? Great Canada won but still seems unnecessary to have the whole rest of the world send teams.

Rumors are that if Slovakia loses this game Hossa will sign with the winner of Finland/USA.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Jarome Iginla: fearless captain or schoolyard bully?


Jarome Iginla and Team Canada took on the once proud Germans last night in a game of hockey and the result was written long before the puck ever dropped. There were some notable things that did happen however. Rick Nash had his Olympic cherry popped as he finally scored his first goal in nine Olympic games, Coach Babcock allowed Sidney Crosby to take a penalty shot instead of Nash, Luongo managed to hold the potent German offense to a paltry two goals, Shea Weber actually shot a hole through the net, but the most interesting thing to me was how Iginla decided he was going to play again.

Four games have been played now. Two of the teams have what you would call NHL caliber starters: Miller for the USA, and Hiller for Switzerland (don't accidentally read that as Hitler for Germany). Otherwise, Iginla has been shooting on goaltenders such as the backup for San Jose who could probably win with the Kiprusoff Kid in net, and some dude named Grotnes for Norway, who probably qualified to play goal on the virtue that he had his own equipment and could get it on by himself.

Living in the shadow of someone else's dreams

So now Iginla has more "new linemates" in Crosby and Staal, and the result is he burned Germany for two goals. Come on. He has blasted pucks by Germany and Norway and failed to generate anything at all against the USA and Switzerland. I would love nothing more than to have to eat my words as Iginla dominates tonight against the Russians, but I'm at the point in my life where I am too much of a realist to hold out for that.
Artist's rendition of Jarome Iginla shooting on Thomas Greiss

 

When I hit the outdoor rink and there is an old net filled with holes, I always pretend that I've shot the puck so hard that I made a hole in the net, because I like to fantasize about having a shot that can go through a layer of sheet metal. But Shea Weber actually did that last night which was fucking cool.

Them crooked Russians tonight @ 5:30.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Loluongo


The city of Vancouver collectively shat itself last night as it was announced that Roberto Luongo would get the start for Team Canada in the qualification round for their first game Tuesday night. Some pretty interesting things come to mind in the midst of this goalie change though. The first thing you'll probably read about all day is how the last time Canada changed goalies, it was from Curtis Joseph to Martin Brodeur at the 2002 Olympics, and it will be pointed out over and over again that Canada went on to win gold in that tournament. There's something a lot of people forget about that year though.


Tommy Salo (the goalie for the Oilers at that time) let in a brutal goal to allow Belarus to advance to the next round instead of them. Belarus is not Sweden. Please do not make that mistake. Belarus is absolutely not what you would call a power-house. Canada got to play Belarus in a medal round which will probably never ever happen again. So before you go saying how the past could be good for Canada, just take a second to dive a little deeper.

Let's not forget about the last time that Roberto Luongo faced adversity either. In Game Six of the Western Conference Semi-Finals last year against the Chicago Blackhawks, down three games to two, Bobby Lou needed to play what many people were ready to call the most important game of his life. But hell, he can explain what happened better than I can.

Leading to one of my favorite nicknames of all time, 7uongo

Being a Flames fan it's not easy to cheer for Luongo to have any success at all. However, if it means having a chance at a medal in men's hockey, I'll swallow my pride and root for him and the rest of Team Canada. Who knows, it could be fun to scream "LOUUU" at the TV for once.
 

If you've ever tried to comment on a post on this website and it said you had to log in with something like a google account or whatever, don't worry about that anymore. I am pretty sure I have fixed that.

Monday, February 22, 2010

MB 30 master of the pokecheck

This is the new butterfly

I always knew Team Canada's biggest weakness going into this tournament was goaltending/Luongo should have been the captain of Team Canada/Nick Kypreos was the only one that had it right and MB30 should have been pulled after two goals in the first period.

Wait, what?

The entire country of Canada got to spend a night in the shoes of a Flames fan as they watched a team lose a game for really no specific reason yesterday. They outshot the opposition by a margin of 2-1 (44 shots for Canada to 22 for the USA), and still came away with a loss. Luckily for me I have been training to watch this game by nature of the virtue that I don't miss many Flames games. I'm always ready to be disappointed.

You really want to blame the game on Brodeur? I'm a subscriber to the theory that he is able to win big games when they count. It also doesn't matter what your name is, he is better than you.

I probably just don't want to see Bobby Lou start because if he does have success and go on to be great for the Canucks in the playoffs then this will probably be pointed out as the turning point in his career. My take? Start Fleury!

That's really only a half-joke I'm making. There is a case for the kid to get a shot. If you want to look at immediate results, he is the goalie who just went to the last two cup finals. Also after being burned for five goals against Detroit in Game 5 of the 2009 finals, giving Detroit a 3-2 edge, he only responded by allowing two goals in the last two games en route to a Penguins cup win. But it's probably gonna be 7uongo against Germany which means GM (sorry, Canada Hockey) Place will once again be filled with the vibrations of thousands of "LOUUU's"...and that's the way it should be.

Friday, February 19, 2010

WTF

What the fuck.

I'm pretty sure as soon as you name your kid Morpheus, you've set him up to become a drug dealer.
But that is not even the best name in the article. The obvious winner is Ericlindross. Not only because its fucking weird to name your kid after both the first and last name combined of a hockey player, but also because you spelled his name wrong. Lindros. Not Lindross. That reminds me of when I used to look for items on Ebay that were spelled wrong to see if people listed them incorrectly. Like Ignila and Heatly.


I'm gonna name my kid Jarmoeignila.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Sidney Crosby's deec wheels


Today Crosby and Team Canada D-man Shea Weber decided to get their wheels on and challenge a couple girls in the Olympic village to a ping-pong match. Remember the name Meaghan Mikkelson because that's who Sid decided that was the better looking of the two, I'm assuming. No way was Crosby gonna let Weber have first overall pick. Meg plays for the Canadian Women's Hockey Team and this is what she looks like:

I don't know who decided to do a photoshoot with the girl sitting on wheels but its funny because her wheels might be good enough to swing herself a Crosby. Meanwhile, Weber was good enough to play wingman and team up with Rebecca Johnston.

Well done, Sid. Keep feeding Iginla and wheeling hockey chicks.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bu-lin! Bu-lin!

 Broken dreams

Two posts in one day? Well this is too damn funny to wait until another time. Nikolai Khabibulin has been charged with a DUI after he was pulled over for speeding in Arizona. What a way to spend your time in rehab, making millions of dollars somewhere other than Edmonton while drinking and driving your fancy sports car around (a black Ferrari to anyone interested). Just when you think that the Oilers' season couldn't get worse, Uncle Nick decides to go for a drinky-poo and take a ride.

I love the internet. It is ridiculous the amount of information that is available at our fingertips. Like, how TSN had footage of that luger getting iced. I seriously always thought there was some sort of rule about showing lethal footage. That's why when you watch those cop shows on Spike TV, nobody ever dies.

Alas, the internet allows for even the simple human being to get access to something as private as, oh say, the incident report filed against Bulin. Oh man do I ever suggest giving that a read. Some of the highlights:

This is only funny because if you ever watch Bulin regularly, his eyes always look watery and bloodshot. And the slow speech is funny too, he was probably trying to pass himself off as not knowing much English so the officer might let him off the hook.


He had one glass of wine and somehow blew over a .08? That must have been some fucked-up wine you had there Nick. Khabibulin is 6'1 and 210lbs. According to www.rupissed.com (an online BAC converter), if he had a glass of wine and waited even an hour his BAC would be around .01 for a score of "not even mellow". Even if he only waited half an hour, his BAC would be a .019. Should be interesting to see how that plays out.

When Bulin was ready to take the blood test, he made a motion towards his left arm like he was sticking it with a syringe and said "yes". The guy is 37 and has spent his entire pro career in North America. Does he not know how to express himself a little better than through miming actions?

Well it sucks to be an Oilers fan. Should be interesting to see how his lawyers try to blame the DUI on his medication for his back.

Na na na na nana na


 

Team Canada played yesterday and beat the fuck out of Norway to the tune of 8-0. Watching that game was so much more fun than watching the Flames. Now everybody gets to say, "See? See what happens when Jiggy has a centerman? That's what the Flames need lolzor". Do you recall who his center was for most of that game?

Sid the Great

Yeah its that guy who is probably the best center in the NHL right now. So when you say that Iginla needs a centerman, just who exactly do you have in mind? Maybe Pittsburgh will trade Crosby for Kotalik, Nystrom, and a 3rd rounder? Seems reasonable. Or perhaps they would part with Malkin for Chris Chucko and future considerations? What I'm saying is, enjoy this while it lasts, because when it comes back to Iginla-Conroy-Higgins after the break, the hockey won't be as much fun to watch.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Ain't no rest for the wicked

Just a couple of thoughts on a Tuesday morning.

There is a story on Kuklas' that is all about how 12 years ago in Nagano, Japan, the USA Olympic hockey team lost to everybody but Belarus and then proceeded to trash their hotel room. Apparently, there was something like six chairs broken and three fire extinguishers thrown out of hotel windows, not to mention bedrooms and floors trashed. Anybody else think that sounds like residence?
Henday Henday Henday what?

The best part of it all is that Jeremy Roenick, probably the only guy on the team capable of actually being able to talk to the media at the time, said that the chairs were broken by sitting on them. Christ JR, what were you thinking? At least come up with a better lie than that. You could say something like the chairs were already broken when you got there or just deny it altogether ala the Ryan Cunningham method: "We didn't even vandalism anything!"

If that's not enough to remind you of a university dorm, then look no further than the state of the food at the Olympic village this year. Apparently it was so bad that Russian hockey captain Aleksey Morozov was "forced" to eat at McDonalds.
       

Fuck that. McDonalds is the official sponsor of not only Hockey Canada but of the entire Canadian Olympic team. If its good enough for us then buck up and enjoy the competitive edge you're receiving, being allowed to eat the same food as Canadian athletes. Seriously, who is in charge of the food at Vancouver that it is so bad? I'll offer a guess.
It's got to be Aramark. Remember, these are the Russian athletes we are talking about. The same Russia that has been notorious within the last century for crippling food shortages. The only way these athletes were not going to eat is if Aramark catered the Olympics. I would love to find out for sure though but have no idea how to go about doing it.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Bear Jew; Flames win

I have been waiting 42 games for Eric Nystrom to score so I could finally post this video.


HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY ERIC NYSTROM!!!!
You're the best top-10 pick we've ever had!


And you got the best present of all, a big W right before the Olympic break!

Ahh so what happened at the game last night. Donsky and I got there nice and early, around 6:35, right in time for the 8:00 start. Got some beers and went to watch the warm-up and creep on important people sitting in box seats. We actually saw Ken King (President of the Flames) and had an exchange that went something like this:

Donsky: Hey Ken, you're the man!
KK: You guys gotta get us a win tonight.
Donsky: We'll do our best boss.
KK: I'm tired of being the boss. I don't wanna be the boss anymore.

It was awesome. Also Donsky found something that looked like a super-professional scouting document that was just lying on the ground. So he obviously stole it. Not sure if it made it to the bar?

The seats we had last night were so bad that it was actually funny. Probably six or seven rows from the very top of the Saddledome. But center ice so that was deec. Well overall not a bad way to go into the break. Oh yeah Canada's women's hockey team beat the fuck out of somebody (maybe Slovakia?), something like 18-0. Can you imagine how much fun it would have been to play in that game? So sick.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Gameday Feb 13 vs ANA

February 13
ANA @ CGY
Gametime 8:00pm

For all those watching the Olympics, I understand there has been a stunning twist in terms of the men's hockey tournament. The USA Olympic Hockey team has withdrawn their participation. Taking their place: The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim!

That's the inspiration that the Flames are missing right about now. The video coach needs to sit Brent Sutter down and make him watch this over and over again. Let me set the scene: the second period has just ended. The Flames are down 3-1, only being kept in by the steller goaltending of Kiprusoff and a fight that McGrattan won over Parros. The Flames go to the locker room, when Brent Sutter goes in and gives them that speech. Enter this man.

Gus Fucking Thorson. The often overlooked, under-appreciated equipment man. And he's got just what the Flames need to come back and win this game: new jerseys.

This immediately inspires the captain Jarome Iginla, who is ignited by the presence of both blue and red flames on his chest. He begins the third period scoring with a forehand-backhand-fivehole move, keeping the puck on the ice the whole time, as an homage to fallen soldier Olli Jokinen.

It's now 3-2. Brent Sutter begins stressing the importance of puck possession in the neutral zone. Ales Kotalik gets free on a breakaway and gets taken down. The crowd wants a penalty shot, but the best that Don Van Massenhoven gives them is a holding call. Five minutes left in the third period now. A fan from the nosebleeds sees the following numbers on the ice: 12, 3, 26, 17, and...what, that can't be right. Is that...is that Craig Conroy's number 24 coming on to the ice to take the faceoff?

You better believe it is. Brent Sutter has a hunch about this one. Conroy wins it back to White who fires it on net, it hits a shinpad in front and deflects to the right side of the net, where a wide-open Rene Bourque is waiting. You know he doesn't miss those shots. Goal. 3-3. Less than four to go to overtime.

Then Pardy and Sarich go on the ice, bump into each other trying to skate backwards, give up a 2-on-0 and Kipper lets in a Bobby Ryan goal with under a minute to play. Flames lose again.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Round one; Flames lose

First of all, here is a picture of where I got to sit last night:

 

Section 120, row 8, seat 9. That is DEAD center ice. Never in my life have I had an opportunity to sit and watch the Flames that close. That was one of the coolest things that ever happened to me. Max and I got to the Avison Young Club and I was not disappointed by what I saw. Huge buffets, free Blaze magazines, hell even a coat check. But what impressed me the most is that people will actually take your order from your seat and then bring food to you. Almost makes it worth the $245 face value on the tickets.

If you thought the Flames were going to win last night you obviously forgot that it was a PPV game. This is starting to get ridiculous. There is one PPV game left this year in March against the Bruins, on a Saturday, with an 11:00am start time. I would be very interested to see the numbers on that one, especially if Calgary keeps losing games like this. At this point, it was not due to lack of effort that the puck didn't go in the net. I could see the players working their asses off, I was impressed. It's actually impossible to describe why the Flames can't score more than a goal a game.

Some funny shit did go down at the dome though. During the intermission they asked one lady where the 2010 Winter Olympics were being held. My god, the answer that she gave...I assumed she must have been in solitary confinement for the last year.

The correct answer to those keeping score is Vancouver. You know, the Vancouver 2010 Olympics? You might have heard something about them? Even Mario and Sonic know they're in Vancouver.
Donkey Kong is a sick goalie

This broad though, her answer, so priceless. She said China. The 2010 Olympic Winter Games are being held in China.


The Blaze magazines they were handing out were a joke too. They still listed all the old players, going as far as including an interview with Jokinen, and an interview with Sjostrom. That's just laziness. Does nobody check these magazines out after big trades are made? Some ice girl said her favorite Flame was Brandon Prust.  That just tells me he was the smartest guy on the team, wheeling the ice girls.

Didn't get too silly drunk because when you sit in the middle of a row at center ice, that is not something you do in club seats. However, in the 300-levels on Saturday, that could be a different story. See you then, Mr. Donsky.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Field study

What do the 2009-10 Calgary Flames and the Titanic have in common?


They both look great until they hit the ice.


Wow what a great audience.

I've decided that the only way to really discover why the Flames aren't winning is to go see them play first-hand. This is a scientific study I will be conducting in Calgary this weekend as I take in games against Dallas and Anaheim. I will require several items for my budget:

1. Stadium food:

 

I won't be eating anything other than these nutritious meals for the entire weekend. Let's see if that Supersize Me guy really was full of shit or not.
2. Dome beers:


I've actually never had dome beer before but if all the shit I've heard about it is true then I could be in for a wild night, because you know that if the Flames start tanking against either of these teams I am going to drown my sorrows away.

3. Ice girls:

Because when there's nothing else to watch, this is whats on the ice.

I haven't been to a game since we played the Rangers in my first year university (thanks Crossley!) so I'm very excited. I'll let you know the results I find.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Gameday Feb 9 @ OTT

February 9th
CGY @ OTT
Gametime 5:30pm

 
Ottawa Senators' dressing room
Talk about two teams going in different directions. The Ottawa Senators are so hot right now. Ignore the fact that they were just shut out 5-0 by the Maple Leaphs, the Senators just came off a ten-game winning streak over teams such as Chicago, Pittsburgh, New Jersey, Buffalo, and Vancouver. That is something to contend with. Meanwhile, the Flames went back to their losing ways the other night against Tampa Bay, only scoring once, but there is actually a positive spin that can be put on the recent stretch of games. Unbelievable right? Well here's a stat: the Flames have won three of their last five, and have points in six of their last seven. Crazy how much better something sounds when you can spin it like that.

But I'm not here to spin things so here are the facts: every game that Calgary plays from here on out should make you uncomfortable to watch unless they win. For every loss that adds up, it means the Flames will rely more and more on other teams to lose to get into the playoffs. Looking for a silver lining? Trying to say something like "oh come'on Dick there is always a first round pick if we shit the bed"? ITS GONE because Olli Jokinen was worth Matt Lombardi and a first-round to Phoenix last year.

Well fuck Ottawa, at least they got fuck all for Heatley. The Flames really have to win this one for me personally as I'm getting tired of hearing roommate Bruce stomp around upstairs, boasting that the Ottawa goalie coach being fired was the greatest thing to happen to the franchise of all time. Did you know he trashed his own bathroom, then blamed it on Sam Gratton and I so we would have to clean it up? Also, if you see Bruce, ask him about Craig Cunningham. If the kid gets drafted by Ottawa, he's gonna need a restraining order against this bass-playing maniac who lives upstairs.


I am really getting used to these early games, nothing like coming home, doing fuck-all for a couple hours, and then your boys are on TV going to war. Check Sportsnet West @ 5:30 for the puck drop.
 
God willing, 29 points to go.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The blue pill opens your eyes

An off-day for the Flames before the Olympic break. Kukla's Korner has an article up that talks about the Dion Phaneuf trade which is worth checking out.

The Flames now sit in 7th place in the West, three points back of 6th place Colorado and one point up on 8th place Nashville. These numbers shouldn't make you feel comfortable as both Nashville and Colorado both have two games in hand on Calgary which could mean trouble.

GM Darryl Sutter entertains trade offers for Dion Phaneuf

Here are some big games the Flames are going to have to watch out for:

March 9th @ DET
March 15th vs DET
March 17th vs COL
April 2nd @ COL

Of course, that's assuming Calgary hasn't fallen out of the playoff picture by then. Here's a video to make up for the lack of news today.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Tampa Slay; Flames lose

Maybe the slowest game I've watched all year. There are a couple things I've noticed watching the last few games with the new Flames.

1. Cory Sarich

Gotta love the attempted recovery
Cory Sarich has been fucking awful the last few games. Seeing him on the ice makes me feel sick. It's not at the point where he is comparable to an Ericsson/Zyuzin yet, but if he keeps playing like he is then it looks like I'll have a new scapegoat. Seriously, I never got why people liked him. Yeah he hit Marleau really hard in the playoffs a couple years back but that didn't really make up for the very average season he had, and it doesn't carry forward two years into the future.
Sicko hit but doesn't abate for anything

2. Jarome Iginla
 

I know in Calgary its illegal to say anything bad about Iginla (I'm pretty sure there is actually a law against it), but he is playing like complete shit right now. Don't even blame it on his new linemates either, the guy is getting out-muscled on the boards and can't make a pass or shot to save his life. Remember Stajan's sweet skate-to-stick goal against Carolina?

That was not a good pass by Iginla! If it was a decent pass Stajan wouldn't have had to reach out his leg and kick it to himself. I hope that by saying this I have to eat my words as Iginla goes on a tear down the stretch ending up with like 40 goals or something, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen.

3. Ales Kotalik

For the time being, I'm on Ales. He has surpassed my expectations the last couple of games, but that is probably because I didn't expect him to give a fuck when he played them. Instead he has been battling; giving a consistent effort, which is all I can really ask for. He got kicked out of the game against TB because he didn't have his fight strap tied down, but you can't really fault him, he didn't want to fight and doesn't ever to begin with. So I'll let him off the hook for now.

Blowing a 1-0 lead isn't anything to get too pissed off about and at least we got the loser point, so if my calculations hold correctly, its 29 more we need. Flames in Ottawa on Tuesday.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Gameday Feb 5 @ FLA

February 5
CGY @ FLA
Gametime 5:30pm

I remember when I was a little kid and I used to watch The Score (which nobody watches in Edmonton for some reason), I always used to get confused when I saw FLA on the ticker because I thought it stood for Flames, not Florida. 

Ahh to be young again...

That really has nothing to do with anything though. Tonight is an early game for the Flames who are going to beautiful Florida to play the Panthers at 5:30pm. I was wondering why the NFL team in Carolina was named the Panthers as well as the NHL team in Miami. I looked into it a bit and realized that there is in fact an animal called the Florida Panther. The Florida Panther is an endangered species, much like the hockey team.

Panther's captain Brian McCabe

At this point I'd like to go into a little rant about the logistics of having a hockey team in Florida (sorry to anyone who has heard this before). Everyone says it makes no sense to have a team in a place like Florida. This argument is because people are only looking at the surface. Just because it is really hot in Miami and the culture is more suited to sports like basketball and football doesn't mean there isn't a market for hockey. Think about it: what is the demographic that goes to Florida over the winter/has a place in Florida?


If you said old Canadians, then you are correct! And as you all know, old Canadians love hockey. Of course everyone has their team they grew up cheering for, probably the Leafs or Habs, but if I had a place in Florida and found out the city was getting a hockey team I would be so stoked. What happened in Florida is that they went from being an expansion team to making the Stanley Cup Finals in like three years, surpassing any reasonable expectations. Shit was bumpin' in Florida for a while.

They also have this guy calling goals
Then any consistency the team had went to shit. They stopped being competitive, stopped making the playoffs, and weren't a novelty anymore, so there was really no reason to keep watching. Alright now I'm done.

This is the only meeting between the Flames and Panthers this season and at this point every game is huge for the Flames. 32 points is the (hopefully) magic number. If we had 96 points and missed the playoffs, I wouldn't even be that mad, that's just unlucky. No better time to start winning than tonight.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Glenn Beck; Flames Win

Glen....cross....get it?

Realistically the score of this game makes sense. The Flames should have delivered a whippin' to the boys from Carolina, but when it comes to teams the Flames "should" beat, I don't take anything for granted anymore. I watched the first period online (illegal?) and some of the second, right until Cory Sarich took a retarded interference penalty and then Pardy got called for a hook. These two events actually infuriated me to the point where I had to go downstairs and watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia to calm down. I watched the one where the waitress gets married. It relieved my stress.
 
No, but I would watch a hockey game
A win like this shouldn't inspire hope in anybody though. This is a Flames team that is incredibly mediocre. Just how average? Let me put it in terms that are simple. The Flames have had the privilege of playing in the same division as the Oilers, they got to play the Leafs twice, and the Hurricanes once. Those are the three worst teams in the league. Calgary won every single game they played against those (terrible) teams, going 9-0-0. That means the Flames are 19-21-8 against the rest of the league. This should clear up any confusion:

Say it with her: cal-gah-ree. Mediocre. The Flames now have 64 points. The "Golden Standard" to make the playoffs is usually around 96 in the Western conference (that's for 8th seed). I'm no mathematician, but that means that the Flames need approximately 32 points to be assured a playoff spot. They have exactly 25 games left to play, which represents a possible 50 points. 32/50=64%. This means the Flames need to win about 2/3 of the rest of their games just in order to assure 8th seed. If you're religious, start praying now.
I know its a long video but it is one of the true classics on the internet
Florida and Tampa back-to-back for the weekend, and the games are actually televised. Happy days.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Gameday Feb 3 vs CAR

*Blogger.com's HTML editor is absolutely fucked today so wish me luck*

February 3
CAR @ CGY
Gametime 7:00pm


No matter what comes of this game tonight, or any future stream of games against Carolina, every Flames fan owes them a solid. The Oilers of course got revenge in the best way they know how: by beating them the other night, even though losses are more valuable for Edmonton than wins. Its like how a few years ago with the Ryan Smyth trade Edmonton was poised to finish with a draft pick that would be in the top five spots, but by beating the Flames on their last game of the season (even though the Flames had already clinched a playoff spot) they earned enough points overall to move them out of the bottom five and take away the chance for a first overall pick.

City of Champions

Forget the Oilers for a minute and worry about the Flames. The Big Lebowski probably put it best:

"Nothing is fucked?! The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!"

Ales Kotalik, to everyone's surprise, will actually play a game in a Flames uniform, but unfortunately you won't be able to watch because the game is not televised again! Alright Calgary!

Darryl Sutter has a snitch in his office.

I have come to this conclusion by simply looking at the past facts that have been presented to us for like a few years now. There was speculation that Suds wanted OJ at the trade deadline last year. He denied this, then traded for him. It was thought that Uncle Darryl was interested in J-Bouw. He denied this, then traded for his rights and signed him. Daz then shut down Dion Phaneuf trade rumors, only to trade him in the same month. Finally, the boss said he was going to try to re-sign OJ and that it was going to be one of his highest priorities. We all know how that worked out.

It's not common that trade rumors actually pan out, but jesus man, people have called the last four that have happened. Either someone is a genius and has hidden cameras in the Flames GM's office, or Sutter can't keep his mouth shut to his buddies. It's not a big deal, it is what it is.

Gametime is @ 7:00pm but you can't even watch anyways!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

New look, same great taste; Flames lose


Ahh yes, the poor offense-starved Flames finally made a big splash in the NHL Sunday acquiring four new players from a difference conference. Surely these were the answers to the woes that have been so well documented since oh lets say 2002. Well if you watched the first ~15 minutes of the first period, it seemed like everything was going just swimmingly. The new guys looked pretty good and the offense in general had big-time pressure in the Flyers zone. Then, everything came down to earth.


The Flames have been shut-out three times in the last three weeks. But luckily, there is (more?) hope for the future: the Calgary Flames have acquired Ales Kotalik and Chris Higgins from the New York Rangers for Olli Jokinen and Brandon Prust.
<3

I've gone on the record before as saying that I am not an NHL General Manager and I am likely unqualified to be one. But if I was looking to improve my team's offense, there would be a couple things I would consider before trading with other teams. Does it really make sense that we are going to gain offense from one team that is notorious for being unable to score in the East (NYR), and from another team that is last in the conference (TOR)? Unless this is part of another deal to come, then I am very confused.

Sam Gratton probably put it best: Top-6 forwards are not Pokemon, and Darryl Sutter is not Ash Ketchum.

Darryl Sutter's first single off his debut album, "Gotta Catch 'em All"

All I know about Chris Higgins is that he was ok when he played for Montreal but sucked it up pretty good in New York. Ales Kotalik on the other hand has a reputation for being one of the laziest players in the league, which just infuriates/confuses me even further. Furthermore, he has a no-movement clause, and the reason why this trade was supposedly held up was because Calgary was one of three teams on his list that he did not want to be moved to. So the situation is that there is a player who fans don't want...coming to play in a city he doesn't want to.

We'll say Tony Randall is the Flames organization and Jack Klugman is Ales Kotalik


They say hope sells, but I'm wondering if anybody is buying.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Flames Machine Took a Shit and Died

Photo cred to Herb

First of all the fact that this picture exists is incredible. Well there is no shortage of things to discuss about the Flames today. There is a reason why you shouldn't bring your phone out drinking, and Darryl Sutter can tell you all about that. A brief transcript of the conversation he must have had on Saturday night (red denotes Darryl while blue will be Burke):

"Hey Burkey, wazzzuuuup"

"Hi Darryl. Have you given any more thought to the Dion Phaneuf proposition?"

"Ahhhh, fuckem. Did I ever tellya the story how I met my wife.. I met 'er at a bar"

"Yeah Darryl... A couple of times you've mentioned it to me. But what about Phaneuf?"

"Dion? Celine Dion wecall'im HAHAHA *takes a drag of a cigarette*" (in the background, not to Burke) "HEY BOYS... whose got darts?"

"Darryl are you hacking smokes? Where did you go tonight?"

"I wazjust havin' a drinkypoo in the press box. Justa couple adrinks."

"Whatever man. Look, I need Brandon Prust for this to work. Let's talk"

"Prusty, I lovethekid. Y'know I traded him last year for Olli, then re-signedhim this summer. I lovethekid. I love'em"

"Ok Darryl. How about Hagman, Stajan, Mayers, and White for Prust, Phaneuf, and Kieth Aulie?"

"Throw in a firztrounder and you got yerself a deal. HAHAHA y'donthave one, I'm just FUCKIN' withya Burkey!"

"Darryl, you don't have one either. You gave it away in the Jokinen trade. Dude, have you really only had a couple of drinks tonight?"

EDIT: Prust was not part of this trade, but you get the point.

Well I'm sure you can extrapolate how the conversation finished from there. Anyways these are the new look Flames which is exciting to say the least. It's like watching the season start all over again almost. Interesting note: last year after the big Jokinen deal, we played the Flyers. Tonight the Flyers are in town again. So if you are looking for continuity there, then yes you're right. The Flames only make big trades days before games against Philly.


Scott Hartnell and Danny Briere @ practice

Game goes at 7:30.