This is Siegfried and Roy. Siegfried and Roy are magicians who worked in Las Vegas until 2009 when they retired. More importantly, Siegfried and Roy were what one Kieran George and I dressed up as for Halloween last year. You can imagine what that trip to Value Village was like.
This man goes by the alias of Luke Warm. Luke was with Mr. George and I when we dressed up as Siegfried and Roy for Halloween. Our schedule for that day looked something like this:
October 31st, 2009:
10:30--> Wake up. Begin the day with costumes and very little food.
12:00--> Arrive at Luke's house. Wake him up from his drunken slumber and force him to come watch the Golden Bears football game with us.
12:10--> Mike's Hard Lemonade outside Luke's house. Bottles are recycled in the middle of the street.
12:25--> First teamer. An early start to what would certainly be a long day.
2:00--> Board the Edmonton LRT to go to Foote Field. Luke sits next to a Korean girl. To clarify where she is from, he inquires, "you're not one of them North Korean fucks, are ya?".
2:01--> Luke is considerably drunker than we realize.
2:45--> Mickeys in the bathroom are re-deposited into drinks we have purchased. Luke insists on continuing to drink. We obviously let him.
3:00--> Game starts. We sit in the front row directly in front of the cheerleaders. This will certainly not end well.
3:05--> Siegfried and I look around. There sure are a lot of families at this game. We are the only people in the stadium dressed up. Good.
3:15--> Cheerleaders begin a cheer about defense.
"D-E-F! *clap* *clap* E-N-C-E!"
3:16--> We find out that Luke is actually a world-champion at spelling bees. He chooses to share this new-found knowledge with us in the only way that makes sense: by politely correcting these young ladies as to the proper spelling of defense: "IT'S "S", YOU CUNTS".
Personally I can't think of a better way to segway into the season preview for the Calgary Flames defense! First up we have the big man J-Bouw.
Jay Bouw Bouw....ohhh yeah
After what was a mediocre season his books look for Mr. Bouwmeester to have a bounce back year, likely because he will have the privilege of playing next to Giordano, the Italian Stallion.
If you watched any Flames games last year you should already know that Mark Giordano was one of the few bright spots on the team. One year removed from a vacation in Russia, Giordano came back and wowed the fans and the team for pretty much the entire season.
Robyn Regehr was the topic of a lot of trade rumors, especially around July 1st. I was driving around Red Deer, probably buying lots of paint, when I heard on the Fan 960 that there was speculation he was going to be traded for Marc Savard. I wiped the saliva from my mouth and kept driving, but nothing came of it.
Here's my take on Reggie: If a defenceman (I think it's "c" in this case) is being paid $4 million, and is expected to contribute absolutely nothing offensively, he had better be the god-damned best defensive defenceman in the league. Which I don't think he is. So it wouldn't break my heart to see him go.
Cory Sarich is still a cocksucking traitor.
What can you say about Ian White? It's assumed that he was the centerpiece of the Dion Phaneuf trade, because don't try to tell me it was Nik Hagman. So now we have a defenceman signed for one year, one five-dollar footlong away from making $3 million, while Toronto has the most eloquent captain in the league.
And then of course, there is Steve Staios, the prophet destined to lead the Flames to the promised land. I got to say one thing though...how sweet would it be to see him lift the Cup in a Flames uniform?
So maybe I'll write something on goaltending tomorrow. I just found out I have to write a 25 page research paper in one of my history classes so that might take up some of my time during the season. Which doesn't even matter because like three people read this blog.